Well hell.
I think i am going through a "social" phase. this is ridiculous. I don't ever remember going through phases until the last 4 years or so, and now all of a sudden, i have divided these periods into phases.
anyways, i am such a hermit (a very happy hermit, i might add) that when i get in a social phase i think people don't know how to act.
i have a tendency to ignore (but not in a hateful way) people for the most part. i will always respond, but tend to fail to initiate any contact with anyone.
then i hit a social phase, and i call people, facebook, try to get out and visit or whatever; get away from bob n the kids, etc. usually i am successful. but i have been off work all week, my sis in law hasn't been responding to me, (oh just let me get started oon that!) and it's put me in a hell of a mood. i am trying really hard not to take it out on bob, but its very difficult. he's just there in the way of my pms attitude. but it's not PREmen. syn. cuz i just got done last week. it's maybe Postms lol
now about my sil; she lived an hour away, and we got along great. especdially when my other sil (her sis) and i fell out. she pissed everyone off, so it was like bren and i had something in common.
then bren had to move to my city. i was sooooo excited! i thought i was finally getting someone to hang with, that relly new me. she was like my best friend anyways, i thought this was going to be awesome!
then she moved here, and is using rae for the "free" apartment and whatever else rae can do for her, and i feel left out. bren and i haven't hung out for the 2 weeks she's been in town, at ALL. she doesn't even callme, except for once.
but now all of a sudden she is hanging out with rae, they talk, she's been having coffee with her, and their kids are playing a lot, having sleepovers. this really kinda pisses me off, cuz i feel left out. now i have the reasonable part of my head that says who gives a flying frack, they are sisters and grew up together and of course they are going to take this chance to reconnect.
but it still pisses me off a little. and my feelings are hurt.
i will get over it, but i just don't understand why it's so hard for an adult (me) to make friends at this age. i think something is wrong with me. ima freak.
maybe i need some drugs.
for real; everyone else is on them these days. am i depressed? are these swings normal???
i just had to get this off my chest. bob told me to fuck'em. lol pardon my language today.
but sometimes nothing else expresses quite like them.
this is me trying to dump this garbage.
have a good week, in case i withdraw and don't write on here for a few.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
my bad attitude
i went to doc wed. i have been having pain in my wrist/hand/arm and was scared that i was developing carpal tunnel. No carpal tunnel, thank goodness! I have radial neuritis; he told me to take off until monday, and gave me prednisone (a steroid for the inflamation). i hope this takes care of it! i am left handed, and use that hand so much at work. scissoring, clippering, blow drying...and i don't think i could work part time making this much money. i make almost as much as bob does and he works full time. (on a side note, this is going to screw up how much i make this year; i try to beat every year by at least a little; at this rate i will be lucky to make as much as i did last year!)
the down side of being at home "resting" my wrist is that i am bored to tears. there is only so much you can do on facebook! i called my sil to see if she wanted to hang out today, cuz we haven't done anything since she moved back to the fort, but she said she might be busy. she wouldn't tell me what she was doing. i hate it when people are secretive.
i was watching steel magnolia's last night, and the end when sally fields was at the funeral, i was so wishing i had a big group of close friends like that! it sucks having no one i can really be myself around. i thought me and sheila could be close, but she gets on my nerves a little. *sigh* she's just very materialistic; i am sooooo not into that! and bren is hanging out a lot with rae (her sister who used to be my best friend before she went mental and dissed me) and i know that they are sisters, but bren used to talk bad about her all the time! now i see her kissing her ass of facebook. *bitching here* and rae got her hair cut- this just KILLS me because when i hacked mine off, she said something that really bothered me and if we hadn't been in church at the time, i would've knocked her out. she said-oh you got it cut short cuz sheri (my stepmom) did! gee, maybe i should go out and cut mine too! and now, her hair looks exactly like mine!!! grrr!!!!
as you can tell, i have some bitterness built up. i keep trying to get over it, but it just keeps coming back! her and gabby's mom, i just have a really hard time not being bitchy about, and wanting to use my car as a weapon against them...
deep breath.
ok. well, i finally got a laptop. i LOVE it!!! i have started writing on it! i have always wanted to write a book, but all the dialogue is a pia to me. and every time i would try, i would always go back and scrap it. this time, i have started with just a short story. i wrote for about an hour yesterday! baby steps, right???
my problem is that i always want to try stuff, but i don't always stick with what i start. like i wanted to quilt; till i picked up some quilting books. it's complicated! idk if i would have the patience for it!
hmmm...guess that's about it for now. i figured since i am so bored, and housework doesn't sound like fun, that i could update this a little more often.
have a great weekend!
:-)
the down side of being at home "resting" my wrist is that i am bored to tears. there is only so much you can do on facebook! i called my sil to see if she wanted to hang out today, cuz we haven't done anything since she moved back to the fort, but she said she might be busy. she wouldn't tell me what she was doing. i hate it when people are secretive.
i was watching steel magnolia's last night, and the end when sally fields was at the funeral, i was so wishing i had a big group of close friends like that! it sucks having no one i can really be myself around. i thought me and sheila could be close, but she gets on my nerves a little. *sigh* she's just very materialistic; i am sooooo not into that! and bren is hanging out a lot with rae (her sister who used to be my best friend before she went mental and dissed me) and i know that they are sisters, but bren used to talk bad about her all the time! now i see her kissing her ass of facebook. *bitching here* and rae got her hair cut- this just KILLS me because when i hacked mine off, she said something that really bothered me and if we hadn't been in church at the time, i would've knocked her out. she said-oh you got it cut short cuz sheri (my stepmom) did! gee, maybe i should go out and cut mine too! and now, her hair looks exactly like mine!!! grrr!!!!
as you can tell, i have some bitterness built up. i keep trying to get over it, but it just keeps coming back! her and gabby's mom, i just have a really hard time not being bitchy about, and wanting to use my car as a weapon against them...
deep breath.
ok. well, i finally got a laptop. i LOVE it!!! i have started writing on it! i have always wanted to write a book, but all the dialogue is a pia to me. and every time i would try, i would always go back and scrap it. this time, i have started with just a short story. i wrote for about an hour yesterday! baby steps, right???
my problem is that i always want to try stuff, but i don't always stick with what i start. like i wanted to quilt; till i picked up some quilting books. it's complicated! idk if i would have the patience for it!
hmmm...guess that's about it for now. i figured since i am so bored, and housework doesn't sound like fun, that i could update this a little more often.
have a great weekend!
:-)
Monday, November 9, 2009
honey, i'm home!!!
wow. haven't been blogging much at all!
i just get so busy, and updating everything that's happened in the interim is a daunting task.
let's see....
got back from seeing my mama in TN. that was.....exhausting. see, she lived with us a few years back and she had to leave some stuff here. she got a big disability check (shhhh...it's on the hush hush) and asked if we would bring it back if she reimbursed us. so we did. i wanted to visit so many places, and people too; but we just didn't have time. we just went to forbidden caverns cuz bob has never been caving. we also went to bass pro shops, cuz he has never got to do that either. (i know, hideous grammar-sue me)
so that was fun. just a little side note-my mom's boyfriend is so super annoying and i'm glad we live states away. i know. they did ask us if we would consider moving down there, but there is no work for bob. and i want my kids here-by their grma and grpa winans and grma girton. they (we) have more family here.
but TN was beautiful, and i was a little homesick looking at it. i also drove past the house i lived in. it's so different looking, and the whole neighborhood looks rundown. it was a little sad. jama's house wasn't there anymore either. i only know cuz i went to see my aunt and uncle and they live close to there. that was also a little sad; we had written all kinda of stuff on her wooden fence, and in the empty house across the street. (gone)
i guess time marches on, eh??
subject change.
i think i have carpal tunnel. (sp?) my left hand, wrist, and arm hurt so badly. been bothering me for about a week now. think i'm gonna have to visit the dr. this is scary cuz i'm left handed, and grooming dogs i use that hand a LOT! so pls pray that i won't have to quit my job or be off a long time or have surgery; i just can't afford that. oh, speaking of afford, i do think we are going to declare chptr 13 bankruptcy. total bummer, but at this point idk what else to do. we are being sued by 2 diff. people, and this will stop suits, garnishments etc. and i am a firm believer of u do what u gotta do, and screw anyone who looks down on you for it.
my kids are good. josh has a cough still, but nothing major. knock on wood. he has 2 more dentist apts. to go to. he had 2 teeth pulled and spacers put in. i guess he wasn't brushing as well as i thought. makes no sense, cuz that kid brushes constantly. dentist told me i had to start doing it cuz he wasn't doing a good job and that led to the decay.
they all made great grades; josh reads at 3rd grade level (he's in first) and kae's reading was off the charts and the;y put her in an advanced group. gabby did ok- first d ever while living with us. we were not happy!!! (btw her mom is a huge pain in the ass still) lara got all a's and b's.
well, think that's about it. i'll try to be better about updating, but u know how it is!
right now i am digging born again by third day with lacey from flyleaf. give it a listen sometime.
later gator.
i just get so busy, and updating everything that's happened in the interim is a daunting task.
let's see....
got back from seeing my mama in TN. that was.....exhausting. see, she lived with us a few years back and she had to leave some stuff here. she got a big disability check (shhhh...it's on the hush hush) and asked if we would bring it back if she reimbursed us. so we did. i wanted to visit so many places, and people too; but we just didn't have time. we just went to forbidden caverns cuz bob has never been caving. we also went to bass pro shops, cuz he has never got to do that either. (i know, hideous grammar-sue me)
so that was fun. just a little side note-my mom's boyfriend is so super annoying and i'm glad we live states away. i know. they did ask us if we would consider moving down there, but there is no work for bob. and i want my kids here-by their grma and grpa winans and grma girton. they (we) have more family here.
but TN was beautiful, and i was a little homesick looking at it. i also drove past the house i lived in. it's so different looking, and the whole neighborhood looks rundown. it was a little sad. jama's house wasn't there anymore either. i only know cuz i went to see my aunt and uncle and they live close to there. that was also a little sad; we had written all kinda of stuff on her wooden fence, and in the empty house across the street. (gone)
i guess time marches on, eh??
subject change.
i think i have carpal tunnel. (sp?) my left hand, wrist, and arm hurt so badly. been bothering me for about a week now. think i'm gonna have to visit the dr. this is scary cuz i'm left handed, and grooming dogs i use that hand a LOT! so pls pray that i won't have to quit my job or be off a long time or have surgery; i just can't afford that. oh, speaking of afford, i do think we are going to declare chptr 13 bankruptcy. total bummer, but at this point idk what else to do. we are being sued by 2 diff. people, and this will stop suits, garnishments etc. and i am a firm believer of u do what u gotta do, and screw anyone who looks down on you for it.
my kids are good. josh has a cough still, but nothing major. knock on wood. he has 2 more dentist apts. to go to. he had 2 teeth pulled and spacers put in. i guess he wasn't brushing as well as i thought. makes no sense, cuz that kid brushes constantly. dentist told me i had to start doing it cuz he wasn't doing a good job and that led to the decay.
they all made great grades; josh reads at 3rd grade level (he's in first) and kae's reading was off the charts and the;y put her in an advanced group. gabby did ok- first d ever while living with us. we were not happy!!! (btw her mom is a huge pain in the ass still) lara got all a's and b's.
well, think that's about it. i'll try to be better about updating, but u know how it is!
right now i am digging born again by third day with lacey from flyleaf. give it a listen sometime.
later gator.
Monday, October 5, 2009
what a week!
Greetings! I have not blogged in a while, due to a serious migraine and just general busy-ness.
i missed work thursday my head hurt so bad, and i have had a chronic headache for about a week.
Bob wants me to go to the doc, but i think (hope) it's period related. i'm due to start pretty soon. at least that's what my boobies are telling me *grin*
Let's see.....what's been going on.....well, we are broke. but that's nothing unusual. bob has really been stressing the money issue, maybe getting a part time job. at least until Christmas. My feelings about our finances kind of ebb and flow. (is that the correct term???) i get stressed sometimes (like if i can't pay bills!) but for the most part i know God will take care of us.
I am trying to talk Bob into letting me change our food-diets, but he doesn't seem too receptive. I want to get rid of all the processed food we all eat, cut out sugar, caffeine, etc. i may have to just eat one way, and let them eat another. i get so freaked out over red meat, cholesterol etc! my mom's side of the fam has had so many health/heart probs, and my mom herself has had 2 heart attacks and bypass surgery. i don't want to end up like that! found out yesterday that my dad is starting to run again. i'm hoping he will run with me every once in a while; i get so bored on my treadmill and i don't like to run outside by myself. (i'm a chicken!)
Last weekend we went to Bob's sister's church for her and her childrens' baptisms. she goes to a lutheran church, and when we took communion they used real wine. i wasn't expecting it, and almost spit it back out! my face got real hot after also. fyi, bob and i are recovering alcoholics, so if we had known we prob. wouldn't have taken it. it didn't send us off the wagon or anything, but i think you can't be too careful.
we got to attend our church yesterday. i was so glad! i had missed it when we were at the other church. they don't worship the way we were used to, and the message was hard to relate to; they really just read out of the bible only. I LOVE our church. i always feel so uplifted and blessed afterwards. we also started our life group last night. our new pastor has intstituted these groups to delve deeper into the sermons, and also so we can meet in a small group and get to know people better. i really liked being able to get to know others and to share some of my own stories. i think bob was a little put off, (the leader of the group knows him, has been through a lot with us and kept "picking" on bob lol) the other people in the group seem very old testament knowledgable and bob is a relatively knew believer. i think it will be good for him; and everybody always likes him.
saturday was exhausting; i had 8 dogs to groom. that's really not an exceptional amount or anything, but the dogs i did were a struggle! behaviour issues, and fleas! i didn't get done till 2:30, and i am usually done around 1. then i get home, and the house is soooo messy. bob and gabby hadn't done anything all day, knowing we were going to have company. bob and his brother jake were going hunting, leaving jake's wife and 4 kids at my house. so i came home, cleaned a little, took a shower and headed to the store to get dinner cuz we had NOTHING. now, bob had been to the store the day before, but failed to pick anything up for sat. and this really annoyed me. *sigh* then i came home, cooked for all 10 of us. (i need to mention that their 2 boys are a little on the bratty side. ugh)
then bob calles around 7, he's in a crappy mood cuz he got a deer but lost it while tracking it. yells at me for not answering the phone the first time he called (excuse me, but i have 6 kids in my house, get over it) and that i made hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. he eventually got over his mood, and us 4 adults played 5 hands of euchre and had a good time. i also need to mention that the men usually beat the crap out of us at the game, but Nikki and I won 2 of them, woohoo!!!
Gabby really showed her butt this weekend too. i don't want to seem like i complain about her all the time, so i won't go into it. but sometimes i wanna smack the crap outta her.
this week i am working an extra day to make up for missing thurs. it sucks lol. i love my days off! the kids at school, and bob at work, me by myself getting to do whatever i want. kinda-i still have to clean and stuff :-)
wow, this ended up longer than i thought it would. mmm....i also want to copy a prayer from Bob Greene's Best Life Diet book that Oprah put in her forward. i think it's a beautiful prayer:
Dear God,
I give this day to You.
May my mind stay centered on the things of spirit.
May i not be tempted to stray from love.
As I begin this day, I open to receive You.
Please enter where You already abide.
May my mind and heart be pure and true, and may I not deviate from the things of goodness.
May i see the love and innocence in all mankind, behind the masks we all wear and the illusions of this worldly plane.
I surrender to You my doings this day.
I ask only that they serve You and the healing of the world.
May I bring Your love and goodness with me, to give unto others wherever i go.
Make me the person You would have me be.
Direct my footsteps, and show me what You would have me do.
Make the world a safer, more beautiful place.
Bless all Your creatures.
Heal us all, and use me, dear Lord, that i might know the joy of being used by You.
Amen.
OH!!! i published this without telling you about the missions dinner!!! we went to a dinner at church last week. the speaker was marilyn Lazlo, and she was great! she lived for 28 years in Papua New Guinea. her story was amazing, and we got 3 of her videos. basically her and another woman went there to an isolated tribe, not knowing the language, and lived with them. they learned the language, and gave the tribe a written language. then the translated the bible into that language for them. the trials, and culture differences were astounding. you should look her up online; very good story!!! it really made me think, do i still want to do mission work? she had to live in a hut, with snakes and cockroaches and rats; malaria was very prevalent there; they had no doctors etc. the stuff those people ate was disgusting looking-like snot! but i am pretty sure i still would like to do mission work. but nothing like that, at least until my kids are older!
have a great week :-)
i missed work thursday my head hurt so bad, and i have had a chronic headache for about a week.
Bob wants me to go to the doc, but i think (hope) it's period related. i'm due to start pretty soon. at least that's what my boobies are telling me *grin*
Let's see.....what's been going on.....well, we are broke. but that's nothing unusual. bob has really been stressing the money issue, maybe getting a part time job. at least until Christmas. My feelings about our finances kind of ebb and flow. (is that the correct term???) i get stressed sometimes (like if i can't pay bills!) but for the most part i know God will take care of us.
I am trying to talk Bob into letting me change our food-diets, but he doesn't seem too receptive. I want to get rid of all the processed food we all eat, cut out sugar, caffeine, etc. i may have to just eat one way, and let them eat another. i get so freaked out over red meat, cholesterol etc! my mom's side of the fam has had so many health/heart probs, and my mom herself has had 2 heart attacks and bypass surgery. i don't want to end up like that! found out yesterday that my dad is starting to run again. i'm hoping he will run with me every once in a while; i get so bored on my treadmill and i don't like to run outside by myself. (i'm a chicken!)
Last weekend we went to Bob's sister's church for her and her childrens' baptisms. she goes to a lutheran church, and when we took communion they used real wine. i wasn't expecting it, and almost spit it back out! my face got real hot after also. fyi, bob and i are recovering alcoholics, so if we had known we prob. wouldn't have taken it. it didn't send us off the wagon or anything, but i think you can't be too careful.
we got to attend our church yesterday. i was so glad! i had missed it when we were at the other church. they don't worship the way we were used to, and the message was hard to relate to; they really just read out of the bible only. I LOVE our church. i always feel so uplifted and blessed afterwards. we also started our life group last night. our new pastor has intstituted these groups to delve deeper into the sermons, and also so we can meet in a small group and get to know people better. i really liked being able to get to know others and to share some of my own stories. i think bob was a little put off, (the leader of the group knows him, has been through a lot with us and kept "picking" on bob lol) the other people in the group seem very old testament knowledgable and bob is a relatively knew believer. i think it will be good for him; and everybody always likes him.
saturday was exhausting; i had 8 dogs to groom. that's really not an exceptional amount or anything, but the dogs i did were a struggle! behaviour issues, and fleas! i didn't get done till 2:30, and i am usually done around 1. then i get home, and the house is soooo messy. bob and gabby hadn't done anything all day, knowing we were going to have company. bob and his brother jake were going hunting, leaving jake's wife and 4 kids at my house. so i came home, cleaned a little, took a shower and headed to the store to get dinner cuz we had NOTHING. now, bob had been to the store the day before, but failed to pick anything up for sat. and this really annoyed me. *sigh* then i came home, cooked for all 10 of us. (i need to mention that their 2 boys are a little on the bratty side. ugh)
then bob calles around 7, he's in a crappy mood cuz he got a deer but lost it while tracking it. yells at me for not answering the phone the first time he called (excuse me, but i have 6 kids in my house, get over it) and that i made hamburgers and hot dogs for dinner. he eventually got over his mood, and us 4 adults played 5 hands of euchre and had a good time. i also need to mention that the men usually beat the crap out of us at the game, but Nikki and I won 2 of them, woohoo!!!
Gabby really showed her butt this weekend too. i don't want to seem like i complain about her all the time, so i won't go into it. but sometimes i wanna smack the crap outta her.
this week i am working an extra day to make up for missing thurs. it sucks lol. i love my days off! the kids at school, and bob at work, me by myself getting to do whatever i want. kinda-i still have to clean and stuff :-)
wow, this ended up longer than i thought it would. mmm....i also want to copy a prayer from Bob Greene's Best Life Diet book that Oprah put in her forward. i think it's a beautiful prayer:
Dear God,
I give this day to You.
May my mind stay centered on the things of spirit.
May i not be tempted to stray from love.
As I begin this day, I open to receive You.
Please enter where You already abide.
May my mind and heart be pure and true, and may I not deviate from the things of goodness.
May i see the love and innocence in all mankind, behind the masks we all wear and the illusions of this worldly plane.
I surrender to You my doings this day.
I ask only that they serve You and the healing of the world.
May I bring Your love and goodness with me, to give unto others wherever i go.
Make me the person You would have me be.
Direct my footsteps, and show me what You would have me do.
Make the world a safer, more beautiful place.
Bless all Your creatures.
Heal us all, and use me, dear Lord, that i might know the joy of being used by You.
Amen.
OH!!! i published this without telling you about the missions dinner!!! we went to a dinner at church last week. the speaker was marilyn Lazlo, and she was great! she lived for 28 years in Papua New Guinea. her story was amazing, and we got 3 of her videos. basically her and another woman went there to an isolated tribe, not knowing the language, and lived with them. they learned the language, and gave the tribe a written language. then the translated the bible into that language for them. the trials, and culture differences were astounding. you should look her up online; very good story!!! it really made me think, do i still want to do mission work? she had to live in a hut, with snakes and cockroaches and rats; malaria was very prevalent there; they had no doctors etc. the stuff those people ate was disgusting looking-like snot! but i am pretty sure i still would like to do mission work. but nothing like that, at least until my kids are older!
have a great week :-)
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What's shakin, bacon?
greetings :-)
we are having some money issues. *sigh* we are going through a debt relief thing cuz when gas was so high (and we were still paying support on a child that lives with us) we used the credit cards wa;y too much. well, one of our creditors is sueing us. they want $2000 down and $400 a month to settle. i said hey, if i could afford that i would have kept paying you. arrrgggg. we are just having a hard time, christmas is coming up, and it's really stressing me. i have warned my kids that santa is poor this year and not to expect a crap load of gifts. which really is fine; i'm all about character building and i think if a kid gets whatever they want, it turns them into shit heads. at least that's what i tell myself :-D
i haven't been feeling well for awhile either. i'm tired all the time, and just feel blah. i took a 2 hr nap today after sleeping 9 hrs last night. i feel a lil better, so maybe that's what i needed.
not much else has been going on. OH! i went to girl's night saturday. it was ok. there was only 3 of us, and we ate some food and watched ghost, dirty dancing, and the beginning of roadhouse.
sunday the sermon got to me and i was silently crying in church. our pastor was talking about money and how we as americans should be so grateful for what we have. he said in zimbabwe the yearly income is around $400. and that americans spend that amount a year on toilet paper. it just struck me. i try to be grateful, but i always want more. i have so much, but it's never enough. bob and i talk all the time about how we are drawn to mission work. i would love to go to impoverished countries and help. but i have my kiddos, and i think the raising of them needs to come first. maybe some day.........
well, have a great week, and i just want to add that i am so glad U2 is on my safe list! i have been re-listening to their cd's, and there are quite a few scriptural references. it makes me so happy to know that a band CAN succeed in the secular world and still have Christian beliefs!
we are having some money issues. *sigh* we are going through a debt relief thing cuz when gas was so high (and we were still paying support on a child that lives with us) we used the credit cards wa;y too much. well, one of our creditors is sueing us. they want $2000 down and $400 a month to settle. i said hey, if i could afford that i would have kept paying you. arrrgggg. we are just having a hard time, christmas is coming up, and it's really stressing me. i have warned my kids that santa is poor this year and not to expect a crap load of gifts. which really is fine; i'm all about character building and i think if a kid gets whatever they want, it turns them into shit heads. at least that's what i tell myself :-D
i haven't been feeling well for awhile either. i'm tired all the time, and just feel blah. i took a 2 hr nap today after sleeping 9 hrs last night. i feel a lil better, so maybe that's what i needed.
not much else has been going on. OH! i went to girl's night saturday. it was ok. there was only 3 of us, and we ate some food and watched ghost, dirty dancing, and the beginning of roadhouse.
sunday the sermon got to me and i was silently crying in church. our pastor was talking about money and how we as americans should be so grateful for what we have. he said in zimbabwe the yearly income is around $400. and that americans spend that amount a year on toilet paper. it just struck me. i try to be grateful, but i always want more. i have so much, but it's never enough. bob and i talk all the time about how we are drawn to mission work. i would love to go to impoverished countries and help. but i have my kiddos, and i think the raising of them needs to come first. maybe some day.........
well, have a great week, and i just want to add that i am so glad U2 is on my safe list! i have been re-listening to their cd's, and there are quite a few scriptural references. it makes me so happy to know that a band CAN succeed in the secular world and still have Christian beliefs!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
U2 Baby!
So my dream came true!!!
Sunday september 13 i saw U2!!!! it was amazing. everything i hoped for.
we got to Soldier Field around 4 pm. we walked around the stadium, taking pictures and hoping our tickets were good. we got them on ebay for $60 and they were e-tickets, so we hoped they weren't copies or anything. there were people walking around with ONE shirts and laptops on signing people up for email about one.org so we signed up and got free ONE bracelets. oh! general admission people were lined up (they had been lined up since 9 am) and at 6 or so they were allowed to go in; it was an awesome sight! it would have been neat to be next to the stage, inner or outer, but i don't think it would have been fun waiting in line like that all day. GA was first come first served. it was hot in the sun so bob and i sat beneath a tree and people watched for while. we got to hear u2 and snow patrol sound checking. and i bought a concert t-shirt ($40!!!!) while we were sitting there amnesty international came up and took our picture holding a sign. maybe it will be published; who knows???
finally we got to go in; that place was HUGE!!! we were in section 430 row 30; so high up! Bob is really scared of heights, and he was freaking out so much when we got to our seats that he wouldn't even let me touch him. the view was spectacular. you could see downtown chicago, navy pier, gorgeous view of Lake Michigan, the marina. the stadium itself was pretty neat too.
the stage has been dubbed "the claw" i thought it looked like crab legs or something. pretty neat. they called it the 360 degree tour, because the stage lets them perform to all sides. snow patrol was first-they were pretty good even tho i only recognized one song.
after them there was probably a half hour break, and lights and speakers were added to the claw, instruments changed and tested. then smoke started pouring out onstage, and that song ground control to major tom came on (u2 performing it, recorded i think) then the guys in the band came out, with bono finally. i was so excited! i was bouncing in my seat screaming and clapping :-)
here's the set list:
1.Breathe
2.No Line On The Horizon
3.Get On Your Boots
4.Magnificent
5.Beautiful Day / King Of Pain (snippet) / Blackbird (snippet)
6.I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
7.Elevation
8.Your Blue Room
9.Unknown Caller
10.Until The End Of The World
11.Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
12.The Unforgettable Fire
13.City Of Blinding Lights
14.Vertigo
15.I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / I Want To Take You Higher (snippet)
16.Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet)
17.MLK
18.Walk On
19.One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
20.Where The Streets Have No Name / All You Need Is Love (snippet)
Encores:
21. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
22. With Or Without You
23. Moment of Surrender
now, they left the stage after Walk On, but i knew from online that they were gonna do an encore. they came back and did the One/Amazing Grace song and Where the Streets have no name. then they left, and i was so upset!! i wanted to hear With or Without You live, more than any other song of theirs.
they came back on, and did Utlra Violet (bono had on a jacket that shot red lasers, it was SSSSOOOO neat!)
and then FINALLY- my song!!!!! i was so happy i teared up. i fell in love with U2 hard in high school, and i was finally seeing them live!!!! cloud nine for sure.
it was an amazing experience. now i just need to see Pearl Jam ;-) (i found out they had JUST been to chicago to perform; go figure.)
so that was my trip, now i really really need to clean my house :-D
Blessings!!!!!!
Sunday september 13 i saw U2!!!! it was amazing. everything i hoped for.
we got to Soldier Field around 4 pm. we walked around the stadium, taking pictures and hoping our tickets were good. we got them on ebay for $60 and they were e-tickets, so we hoped they weren't copies or anything. there were people walking around with ONE shirts and laptops on signing people up for email about one.org so we signed up and got free ONE bracelets. oh! general admission people were lined up (they had been lined up since 9 am) and at 6 or so they were allowed to go in; it was an awesome sight! it would have been neat to be next to the stage, inner or outer, but i don't think it would have been fun waiting in line like that all day. GA was first come first served. it was hot in the sun so bob and i sat beneath a tree and people watched for while. we got to hear u2 and snow patrol sound checking. and i bought a concert t-shirt ($40!!!!) while we were sitting there amnesty international came up and took our picture holding a sign. maybe it will be published; who knows???
finally we got to go in; that place was HUGE!!! we were in section 430 row 30; so high up! Bob is really scared of heights, and he was freaking out so much when we got to our seats that he wouldn't even let me touch him. the view was spectacular. you could see downtown chicago, navy pier, gorgeous view of Lake Michigan, the marina. the stadium itself was pretty neat too.
the stage has been dubbed "the claw" i thought it looked like crab legs or something. pretty neat. they called it the 360 degree tour, because the stage lets them perform to all sides. snow patrol was first-they were pretty good even tho i only recognized one song.
after them there was probably a half hour break, and lights and speakers were added to the claw, instruments changed and tested. then smoke started pouring out onstage, and that song ground control to major tom came on (u2 performing it, recorded i think) then the guys in the band came out, with bono finally. i was so excited! i was bouncing in my seat screaming and clapping :-)
here's the set list:
Setlist
1.Breathe
2.No Line On The Horizon
3.Get On Your Boots
4.Magnificent
5.Beautiful Day / King Of Pain (snippet) / Blackbird (snippet)
6.I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
7.Elevation
8.Your Blue Room
9.Unknown Caller
10.Until The End Of The World
11.Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
12.The Unforgettable Fire
13.City Of Blinding Lights
14.Vertigo
15.I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight / I Want To Take You Higher (snippet)
16.Sunday Bloody Sunday / Rock The Casbah (snippet)
17.MLK
18.Walk On
19.One / Amazing Grace (snippet)
20.Where The Streets Have No Name / All You Need Is Love (snippet)
Encores:
21. Ultra Violet (Light My Way)
22. With Or Without You
23. Moment of Surrender
now, they left the stage after Walk On, but i knew from online that they were gonna do an encore. they came back and did the One/Amazing Grace song and Where the Streets have no name. then they left, and i was so upset!! i wanted to hear With or Without You live, more than any other song of theirs.
they came back on, and did Utlra Violet (bono had on a jacket that shot red lasers, it was SSSSOOOO neat!)
and then FINALLY- my song!!!!! i was so happy i teared up. i fell in love with U2 hard in high school, and i was finally seeing them live!!!! cloud nine for sure.
it was an amazing experience. now i just need to see Pearl Jam ;-) (i found out they had JUST been to chicago to perform; go figure.)
so that was my trip, now i really really need to clean my house :-D
Blessings!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I am sooo lucky :-)
haven't been updating this so much. i just get busy!
my feelings towards gabby have lightened up. she inadvertantly made me feel better; i heard her talking to a friend, and she said, "That's my dad and stepmom. well, she's more like my real mom cuz she treats me the same as her daughter and she's more of a mom to me than my real mom."
idk why, but that eased a lot of the hurt i had been feeling towards her.
yesterday was AMAZING! bob took a vacation day and spent it with me. we went to breakfast after walking the kids to school, then we went and got gabby a couple pairs of jeans. we went to the goodwill (i LOVE shopping there!) and while we were there i heard a commercial on the radio for a U2 concert in chicago. now, i had no idea they were coming so close as i don't listen to the local stations (i listen to star 88.3-very uplifting!) a little backstory-i have loved U2 FOREVER! they were one of the items on my "bucket list" and bob promised me many years ago that if they ever came close he would take me, no amount of money could keep us away. so we went home and called ticketmaster, and i found out the dates were this weekend! i was sad, sure i couldn't go cuz the tickets were sold out. (except the $250 apiece ones, and let me tell you we are not in a postition to pay that!) leave it to my wonderful husband to find tickets on ebay and bid on them.
the seats aren't that great, but i don't care-i just want to GO! we were the only bidders, and WON!!! we paid $60 for 2 tickets. now i'm just waiting for them to arrive. I started jumping and squeeling and shaking and crying when we won. this is a huge deal for me. and i will be going to chicago, which i have never been to. excited doesn't even begin to describe me!!!
i also have been wanting to learn to play guitar for forever, and bob traded one of his bows for an electric guitar and amp. and then he gave them to me!!! so now i have to learn to play right handed (or upside down lol) i really had wanted an accoustic, but hey i'm not complaining!!!
i really do have the best husband ever
God truly blessed me yesterday; especially with the tickets! now one of my dreams is going to come true!!!!!
and i hooked up with an old friend, i think it was God's answer to a prayer i had been sending out regularly. i prayed for a true friend-the kind you can tell anything to and they don't judge you. i also wanted a christian friend who wouldn't think i was too bad for them. all my non christian friends think i am a stick in the mud, (more or less. they just don't 'get' me) and my christian friends don't get the "bad" side of me. i think sheila has known me long enough that she knows both sides. (on a side note, i really miss my bestie chris. she moved to south carolina, and we just don't talk like we used to. distance is hard!)
and i also feel like i am getting to know another old friend all over again, thanx to facebook and her blog. i read it and remember why we were friends in high school. too bad she lives 8 hours away!
oh! we joined a small group at church and i am really excited to get to know people more, and to study the Word with them!
I love everyone right now. especially my big Papa in heaven! :-*
my feelings towards gabby have lightened up. she inadvertantly made me feel better; i heard her talking to a friend, and she said, "That's my dad and stepmom. well, she's more like my real mom cuz she treats me the same as her daughter and she's more of a mom to me than my real mom."
idk why, but that eased a lot of the hurt i had been feeling towards her.
yesterday was AMAZING! bob took a vacation day and spent it with me. we went to breakfast after walking the kids to school, then we went and got gabby a couple pairs of jeans. we went to the goodwill (i LOVE shopping there!) and while we were there i heard a commercial on the radio for a U2 concert in chicago. now, i had no idea they were coming so close as i don't listen to the local stations (i listen to star 88.3-very uplifting!) a little backstory-i have loved U2 FOREVER! they were one of the items on my "bucket list" and bob promised me many years ago that if they ever came close he would take me, no amount of money could keep us away. so we went home and called ticketmaster, and i found out the dates were this weekend! i was sad, sure i couldn't go cuz the tickets were sold out. (except the $250 apiece ones, and let me tell you we are not in a postition to pay that!) leave it to my wonderful husband to find tickets on ebay and bid on them.
the seats aren't that great, but i don't care-i just want to GO! we were the only bidders, and WON!!! we paid $60 for 2 tickets. now i'm just waiting for them to arrive. I started jumping and squeeling and shaking and crying when we won. this is a huge deal for me. and i will be going to chicago, which i have never been to. excited doesn't even begin to describe me!!!
i also have been wanting to learn to play guitar for forever, and bob traded one of his bows for an electric guitar and amp. and then he gave them to me!!! so now i have to learn to play right handed (or upside down lol) i really had wanted an accoustic, but hey i'm not complaining!!!
i really do have the best husband ever
God truly blessed me yesterday; especially with the tickets! now one of my dreams is going to come true!!!!!
and i hooked up with an old friend, i think it was God's answer to a prayer i had been sending out regularly. i prayed for a true friend-the kind you can tell anything to and they don't judge you. i also wanted a christian friend who wouldn't think i was too bad for them. all my non christian friends think i am a stick in the mud, (more or less. they just don't 'get' me) and my christian friends don't get the "bad" side of me. i think sheila has known me long enough that she knows both sides. (on a side note, i really miss my bestie chris. she moved to south carolina, and we just don't talk like we used to. distance is hard!)
and i also feel like i am getting to know another old friend all over again, thanx to facebook and her blog. i read it and remember why we were friends in high school. too bad she lives 8 hours away!
oh! we joined a small group at church and i am really excited to get to know people more, and to study the Word with them!
I love everyone right now. especially my big Papa in heaven! :-*
Friday, August 28, 2009
bitchin about my kids
i need someone to rant to, so looks like ur it!!!
i wish gabby would go on somewhere. she's all up her mom's ass, saying how much she loves her sister and her mom's boyfriend (who she doesn't really know)
she is hateful to kae and josh, and is never appreciative to me or bob for the things we give her. if she was at her mom's, she woulodn't have a cell, prolly would not be able to read still, and basically failing. i wish sometimes that she never came here. i can't stand her. i want to beat her ass. and her mom's ass too. i know this is childish behaviour, and beneath me, but i need to rant to get it out of my system.
why do i always get stomped on???????
i am very hurt.
i hope today gets better.
i wish gabby would go on somewhere. she's all up her mom's ass, saying how much she loves her sister and her mom's boyfriend (who she doesn't really know)
she is hateful to kae and josh, and is never appreciative to me or bob for the things we give her. if she was at her mom's, she woulodn't have a cell, prolly would not be able to read still, and basically failing. i wish sometimes that she never came here. i can't stand her. i want to beat her ass. and her mom's ass too. i know this is childish behaviour, and beneath me, but i need to rant to get it out of my system.
why do i always get stomped on???????
i am very hurt.
i hope today gets better.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Crazy days!!!
sheesh, i haven't had a single minute to update this thing......sooo much goin on, and i don't know if i can remember any of it lol!!!!
ok, doing good on the diet/excercise front. i have worked out every day and really have cut back. the only "treat" i've had is: we went to a cookout tues. and i ate a burger with cheese, and a handful of chips. (hey, there wasnt anything else, you eat what you're served!) and i can't stay away from the coffee energy drinks. they are sooooo yummy. i haven't weighed, and plan to do so on mon. or tues. of next week. if i haven't lost anything i am going to hurt someone.
i was super happy to get the kids back in school!!!!! so far things are going pretty smooth. not much me time (i am so selfish). tues. i told annie i would help her paint the fences at work, and yesterday i tanned, worked out, took bob lunch, showered and by then the day to myself was pretty much gone. i have yet to clean the house properly (maybe my priorities are skewered lol) but i have sat. off, and will try to do it then.
I had to spank josh twice this morning for being mouthy/disobedient, and kae "forgot" to do her homework so i had to wait on her to do it. so far school seems super easy for her; she's doing 4 letter spelling words and her math was count to 100. i hope this is to judge where everyone in the classroom is at; kae is gonna be bored to tears if this keeps up. (she reads at 6th grade level, and poor gabby now asks her how to spell stuff etc)
our bedroom is inching closer to being done; i helped bob mud it last weekend. i am so ready for that new closet!!!!
i am going to put up $35 a week, in one of my magazines it said that if i do that i'll have $455 in time for christmas. and we are broke, so i gotta do something. bob and i already talked about how we are toning it down this year. material things should not be the focus of christmas!!! and i think NOT getting everything you want builds character.
OH! my conflict of the week, almost forgot! avery asked me for jake's address!!! (they used to be married, he cheated and stuff, they got divorced. we just started being friends not too long ago, and i told her we could only be friends if i wasn't put in the middle of anything. jake and bob are like brothers) i didn't anwer her, cuz i was thinking how i should phrase HELL NO> she wants to take him to small claims for damage done to an apt. they lived in together that she's getting sued for damages for. i'm sorry, but i wasn't about to give her that address!!! he is laid off work, with a wife and 4 kids. he can't afford $1500. not to mention the fact that i told her i don't want to be in the middle of any kind of drama. i was really cheesed that she would ask me for that. i almost took her off my friend list. well anyway, she texted me nm she got it from somewhere else. i texted her back that i didn't want to be in the middle, didn't feel comfortable givin her the addy, hope she understood. she hit me back with, i got it no big deal. i felt it was texted in a shitty tone. )LOL)
so that's pretty much the end of that friendship. i can't be in the middle; so whatever.
ok, have a good weekend if u are reading this, blessings!!!
ok, doing good on the diet/excercise front. i have worked out every day and really have cut back. the only "treat" i've had is: we went to a cookout tues. and i ate a burger with cheese, and a handful of chips. (hey, there wasnt anything else, you eat what you're served!) and i can't stay away from the coffee energy drinks. they are sooooo yummy. i haven't weighed, and plan to do so on mon. or tues. of next week. if i haven't lost anything i am going to hurt someone.
i was super happy to get the kids back in school!!!!! so far things are going pretty smooth. not much me time (i am so selfish). tues. i told annie i would help her paint the fences at work, and yesterday i tanned, worked out, took bob lunch, showered and by then the day to myself was pretty much gone. i have yet to clean the house properly (maybe my priorities are skewered lol) but i have sat. off, and will try to do it then.
I had to spank josh twice this morning for being mouthy/disobedient, and kae "forgot" to do her homework so i had to wait on her to do it. so far school seems super easy for her; she's doing 4 letter spelling words and her math was count to 100. i hope this is to judge where everyone in the classroom is at; kae is gonna be bored to tears if this keeps up. (she reads at 6th grade level, and poor gabby now asks her how to spell stuff etc)
our bedroom is inching closer to being done; i helped bob mud it last weekend. i am so ready for that new closet!!!!
i am going to put up $35 a week, in one of my magazines it said that if i do that i'll have $455 in time for christmas. and we are broke, so i gotta do something. bob and i already talked about how we are toning it down this year. material things should not be the focus of christmas!!! and i think NOT getting everything you want builds character.
OH! my conflict of the week, almost forgot! avery asked me for jake's address!!! (they used to be married, he cheated and stuff, they got divorced. we just started being friends not too long ago, and i told her we could only be friends if i wasn't put in the middle of anything. jake and bob are like brothers) i didn't anwer her, cuz i was thinking how i should phrase HELL NO> she wants to take him to small claims for damage done to an apt. they lived in together that she's getting sued for damages for. i'm sorry, but i wasn't about to give her that address!!! he is laid off work, with a wife and 4 kids. he can't afford $1500. not to mention the fact that i told her i don't want to be in the middle of any kind of drama. i was really cheesed that she would ask me for that. i almost took her off my friend list. well anyway, she texted me nm she got it from somewhere else. i texted her back that i didn't want to be in the middle, didn't feel comfortable givin her the addy, hope she understood. she hit me back with, i got it no big deal. i felt it was texted in a shitty tone. )LOL)
so that's pretty much the end of that friendship. i can't be in the middle; so whatever.
ok, have a good weekend if u are reading this, blessings!!!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
it's wednesday!
So i have been pretty productive today.
but i might mention that my little ones (ok big ones too) are driving me batty. it's fight fight fight alllllll the time, sometimes i want to use the duct tape. *sigh*
oh, i cut it kinda short yesterday, but i wanted to mention the weather again in sandusky.
we really wanted to go to cedar point last tues., but knew we could go wed. if the weather was bad. well i got up around 7:30 am and turned on the weather channel. it called for isolated thunderstorms all day. now, i had been praying pretty hard for decent weather on tuesday so we wouldn't have to go all day wed. and then drive home late.
we went down to breakfast, still praying before we ate for the weather to be ok. i was kinda leaning toward going wed. but really really disappointed. i brought some board (bored) games jic we did end up staying there all day; at least we'd have a little to do; maybe we could swim or something.
after talking to bob and watching the weather channel, we said let's jus tdo it! the sky was gray, but i hoped we'd be able to ride a few coasters.
talk about prayer answered! there were rain clouds almost all day, but it didn't rain a drop! the sun came out occasionally. at one point i was sure it would rain; we were in line for the millenium and the wind was kicking up and there were a few black clouds. i have heard they shut that coaster down for wind sometimes cuz it's one of the highest in the world. but we rode it, and it never did rain! i was praising God all day! it was the most fun i've had in long time and i so needed it!
so i feel very blessed, and i know that God listens! I started a notebook- writing down events when i KNEW God was with me, or answered impossible requests. this way if i ever feel that He isn't listening, or doesn't care, i can look in the notebook. i also have been writing down verses if they strike me.
He sent me eph 3:20, then the next night he sent me water into wine story in Matthew. i am often awed by how He works!
well if anyone reads this, blessings! :-)
but i might mention that my little ones (ok big ones too) are driving me batty. it's fight fight fight alllllll the time, sometimes i want to use the duct tape. *sigh*
oh, i cut it kinda short yesterday, but i wanted to mention the weather again in sandusky.
we really wanted to go to cedar point last tues., but knew we could go wed. if the weather was bad. well i got up around 7:30 am and turned on the weather channel. it called for isolated thunderstorms all day. now, i had been praying pretty hard for decent weather on tuesday so we wouldn't have to go all day wed. and then drive home late.
we went down to breakfast, still praying before we ate for the weather to be ok. i was kinda leaning toward going wed. but really really disappointed. i brought some board (bored) games jic we did end up staying there all day; at least we'd have a little to do; maybe we could swim or something.
after talking to bob and watching the weather channel, we said let's jus tdo it! the sky was gray, but i hoped we'd be able to ride a few coasters.
talk about prayer answered! there were rain clouds almost all day, but it didn't rain a drop! the sun came out occasionally. at one point i was sure it would rain; we were in line for the millenium and the wind was kicking up and there were a few black clouds. i have heard they shut that coaster down for wind sometimes cuz it's one of the highest in the world. but we rode it, and it never did rain! i was praising God all day! it was the most fun i've had in long time and i so needed it!
so i feel very blessed, and i know that God listens! I started a notebook- writing down events when i KNEW God was with me, or answered impossible requests. this way if i ever feel that He isn't listening, or doesn't care, i can look in the notebook. i also have been writing down verses if they strike me.
He sent me eph 3:20, then the next night he sent me water into wine story in Matthew. i am often awed by how He works!
well if anyone reads this, blessings! :-)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
it's been a while
yes, i hit the antisocial hermit stage.
last week we went to cedar point, and omygosh it was so much fun! 14 hours of walking and waiting in line tired my husband out. he's just not as into the coasters as i am. it's a little disappointing, but hey at least i got to go! the girls had a really good time too. our hotel was clean, and with the free breakfast, i feel like we got a deal.
i registered the kids for school. they start aug. 24, and no one is more ready than me! i got kae's hair cut today (and a trim for me). it's in a stacked bob, and she looks so cute! thankx to my sucky interntet, i will not be posting any pics :-(
well that's about all i have time for today; the kids are going to the michigan dunes with my parents thurs and fri, can't wait!!!!!
Eph. 3:20
last week we went to cedar point, and omygosh it was so much fun! 14 hours of walking and waiting in line tired my husband out. he's just not as into the coasters as i am. it's a little disappointing, but hey at least i got to go! the girls had a really good time too. our hotel was clean, and with the free breakfast, i feel like we got a deal.
i registered the kids for school. they start aug. 24, and no one is more ready than me! i got kae's hair cut today (and a trim for me). it's in a stacked bob, and she looks so cute! thankx to my sucky interntet, i will not be posting any pics :-(
well that's about all i have time for today; the kids are going to the michigan dunes with my parents thurs and fri, can't wait!!!!!
Eph. 3:20
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
an R rated post
first and foremost, i can't believe that Victoria is recast in Eclipse! why couldn't they have recast Bella??? Kristin is just not the Bella i pictured....
I know it's due to scheduling conflicts, but come on! the movies gave her some fame and recognition; i guess she feels she should capitalize on that, idk..
alright, now for some complaining.
i hate Bob's meds. i know he needs them, but that seroquell (however you sp it) knocks him OUT! he falls asleep in his chair and we don't get the time together we used to. and i'm talkin booty time too. i have to catch him before he takes it, or i can just forget it. we used to have "relations" (lol) at least once a day. now it's only like 3 times a week! so, what is worse? him being uptight and grumpy, or no sex??? sometimes i think i need to go to the doc to get on something myself, for stress.
speaking of stress, idk if i was meant to have all these kids. i mean, they are here so God obviously meant for them to be, but they are a lot to handle. Bob and I are constantly stressed out; there is always some kind of conflict. whether it's the older girls getting in fights or the whole boy situation, or josh and kae fighting or just getting in trouble, there is always something. things have calmed a bit since Lara went to live with her dad, (she couldn't deal with our rules, so she goes to dad's and her gma buys her whatever she wants, new cell phone and clothes the very day after she moved out. arrrrgggggh!) but we still have a lot of drama with Gabby. She lies all the time, she shirks her chores, she is SO MEAN to mikaela, she starts fights with everyone she comes in contact with. maybe i should write out the back story.
Bob got Angie (Gabby's mom) pregnant when she was 15. they fought a lot. she called the cops and had him arrested a lot. she eventually cheated on him, and left him. she took gabby and disappeared. bob tried to find her, but of the court would not give an address for her (even tho they had it and it was supposedly illegal for her to leave the state. she was in Georgia) and he couldn't afford a p.i.
we met, i got pregnant. after kae was born we got married. right after i had josh angie calls bob up and tells him he needs to be a dad. like not seeing gabby was his fault. so we take her, and she doesn't know who bob is. she calls two of the guys angie lived with daddy. well, we got into an issue cuz gabby refused to eat anything we had, and angie picked her up and we didn't hear from her. no address, nothing.
years go by. two years ago, angie calls up out of the blue and wants bob to take gabby for a week. he says yes of course. we get her, and she's sweet, but LOUD and obnoxious a little. we send her back, two days later angie calls and wants gabby to live with us for a year. she says she has no job, etc. and can't take care of her. what she doesn't say (but we can put 2 and 2 together) is that her now boyfriend doesn't like gabby. (i should mention that angie never really took care of gabby; she was always shipped off to different relatives. well, those relatives were her mom and aunt, and they both died. angie can't be a parent, so she called bob)
so we say ok, and angie promises us she will send bob the support back that she recieves.
well, we got ONE weeks worth. it stopped coming. we repeatedly asked angie what was going on, she always had some excuse. now we couldn't afford an attorney, so i took things into my own hands and did some research and found that we could file for custody and stopping the support ourselves. so i went and got the papers, made bob take time off work and filed them. (we paid support for gabby while she was living with us for 1.5 years)
we got a court date. the week before court angie shows up at gabby's school and tries to get her. basically kidnap her. but i had been smart and told the school only bob or i was to ever pick her up. the police were called and decided after talking to gabby that she should go home with us.
Victory #1.
now i have to tell you, gabby is one confused girl. she wants her mom, but at the same time knows her mom is not the best thing for her right now. gabby was failing at everything in school, moved constatnly, angie never went to any conferences. gabby's aunt is the one who taught her to read.
but gabby believes all the lies her mom tells her. angie has seen gabby 3 times in 2 years. she lives in ohio. she never called gabby, never answered when gabby called her, etc.
angie made her feel so bad about telling the cops she wanted to stay here, gabby became really crappy with all of us and screamed at her dad that she hated him and wished she was with her mom. that really hurt bob.
i'm pretty sure angie just tried to get gabby cuz her support was gonna be stopped. she didn't even show up to the custody hearing. and she had been ordered to.
so we got custody, support stopped, and asked for angie to pay us back, and pay us support also.
we signed up for the 4 d program, and as soon as she gets a job those wages will be garnished.
oh yeah, she's not worked for awhile cuz she got pregnant by some guy. poor guy will probably end up with the kid. angie also has a son and he lives with his father.
i have a lot of anger when it comes to all of this.
anger at angie is most of it; anger that gabby always acts as if angie is a saint and her dad the bad guy.
gabby has been at her mom's for 2 weeks to stay and visit the baby. she goes on and on about how she doens't want to come home.
i pray all the time that this anger and resentment will leave me; so far i am very bitter still.
i think gabby should be more appreciative. since she's lived here she's had a steady home life, seen me and bob just loving each other to pieces, her grades have been all a's and b's, i go to every conference and take an active role in her education, we do and give all we can for her. but with her it's always about her mom.
i can identify some; my mom left me for my step dad. that's why i moved back to IN. she asked for my forgiveness. of course i gave it. she's my mom. (recently asked)
who knows what would have happened to me if i had stayed. sure, i got pregnant at 17 here, but without my dad's influence it could have been worse!
so that's my gabby story. told you it was long!
i know no one reads this; i don't really want my family reading this. i sometimes need to vent, and it feels really good getting it out without worrying if their feelings will be hurt.
oh, and Amy i totally stole this blog idea from you, so thanks :-) def. cathartic!
i think that's enough for today.
to God all the glory, forever and ever!
I know it's due to scheduling conflicts, but come on! the movies gave her some fame and recognition; i guess she feels she should capitalize on that, idk..
alright, now for some complaining.
i hate Bob's meds. i know he needs them, but that seroquell (however you sp it) knocks him OUT! he falls asleep in his chair and we don't get the time together we used to. and i'm talkin booty time too. i have to catch him before he takes it, or i can just forget it. we used to have "relations" (lol) at least once a day. now it's only like 3 times a week! so, what is worse? him being uptight and grumpy, or no sex??? sometimes i think i need to go to the doc to get on something myself, for stress.
speaking of stress, idk if i was meant to have all these kids. i mean, they are here so God obviously meant for them to be, but they are a lot to handle. Bob and I are constantly stressed out; there is always some kind of conflict. whether it's the older girls getting in fights or the whole boy situation, or josh and kae fighting or just getting in trouble, there is always something. things have calmed a bit since Lara went to live with her dad, (she couldn't deal with our rules, so she goes to dad's and her gma buys her whatever she wants, new cell phone and clothes the very day after she moved out. arrrrgggggh!) but we still have a lot of drama with Gabby. She lies all the time, she shirks her chores, she is SO MEAN to mikaela, she starts fights with everyone she comes in contact with. maybe i should write out the back story.
Bob got Angie (Gabby's mom) pregnant when she was 15. they fought a lot. she called the cops and had him arrested a lot. she eventually cheated on him, and left him. she took gabby and disappeared. bob tried to find her, but of the court would not give an address for her (even tho they had it and it was supposedly illegal for her to leave the state. she was in Georgia) and he couldn't afford a p.i.
we met, i got pregnant. after kae was born we got married. right after i had josh angie calls bob up and tells him he needs to be a dad. like not seeing gabby was his fault. so we take her, and she doesn't know who bob is. she calls two of the guys angie lived with daddy. well, we got into an issue cuz gabby refused to eat anything we had, and angie picked her up and we didn't hear from her. no address, nothing.
years go by. two years ago, angie calls up out of the blue and wants bob to take gabby for a week. he says yes of course. we get her, and she's sweet, but LOUD and obnoxious a little. we send her back, two days later angie calls and wants gabby to live with us for a year. she says she has no job, etc. and can't take care of her. what she doesn't say (but we can put 2 and 2 together) is that her now boyfriend doesn't like gabby. (i should mention that angie never really took care of gabby; she was always shipped off to different relatives. well, those relatives were her mom and aunt, and they both died. angie can't be a parent, so she called bob)
so we say ok, and angie promises us she will send bob the support back that she recieves.
well, we got ONE weeks worth. it stopped coming. we repeatedly asked angie what was going on, she always had some excuse. now we couldn't afford an attorney, so i took things into my own hands and did some research and found that we could file for custody and stopping the support ourselves. so i went and got the papers, made bob take time off work and filed them. (we paid support for gabby while she was living with us for 1.5 years)
we got a court date. the week before court angie shows up at gabby's school and tries to get her. basically kidnap her. but i had been smart and told the school only bob or i was to ever pick her up. the police were called and decided after talking to gabby that she should go home with us.
Victory #1.
now i have to tell you, gabby is one confused girl. she wants her mom, but at the same time knows her mom is not the best thing for her right now. gabby was failing at everything in school, moved constatnly, angie never went to any conferences. gabby's aunt is the one who taught her to read.
but gabby believes all the lies her mom tells her. angie has seen gabby 3 times in 2 years. she lives in ohio. she never called gabby, never answered when gabby called her, etc.
angie made her feel so bad about telling the cops she wanted to stay here, gabby became really crappy with all of us and screamed at her dad that she hated him and wished she was with her mom. that really hurt bob.
i'm pretty sure angie just tried to get gabby cuz her support was gonna be stopped. she didn't even show up to the custody hearing. and she had been ordered to.
so we got custody, support stopped, and asked for angie to pay us back, and pay us support also.
we signed up for the 4 d program, and as soon as she gets a job those wages will be garnished.
oh yeah, she's not worked for awhile cuz she got pregnant by some guy. poor guy will probably end up with the kid. angie also has a son and he lives with his father.
i have a lot of anger when it comes to all of this.
anger at angie is most of it; anger that gabby always acts as if angie is a saint and her dad the bad guy.
gabby has been at her mom's for 2 weeks to stay and visit the baby. she goes on and on about how she doens't want to come home.
i pray all the time that this anger and resentment will leave me; so far i am very bitter still.
i think gabby should be more appreciative. since she's lived here she's had a steady home life, seen me and bob just loving each other to pieces, her grades have been all a's and b's, i go to every conference and take an active role in her education, we do and give all we can for her. but with her it's always about her mom.
i can identify some; my mom left me for my step dad. that's why i moved back to IN. she asked for my forgiveness. of course i gave it. she's my mom. (recently asked)
who knows what would have happened to me if i had stayed. sure, i got pregnant at 17 here, but without my dad's influence it could have been worse!
so that's my gabby story. told you it was long!
i know no one reads this; i don't really want my family reading this. i sometimes need to vent, and it feels really good getting it out without worrying if their feelings will be hurt.
oh, and Amy i totally stole this blog idea from you, so thanks :-) def. cathartic!
i think that's enough for today.
to God all the glory, forever and ever!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
here we go again
i am going through one of my low self esteem social phases again. *sigh* i have tons of acquaintances, but just a few close friends. the issue is that the closest person to me is Bob, and sometimes i need to vent About him, not to him. i can usually talk to my bren-a-sis, she is so good to me....but i think my renewed faith freaks her a little. i love her tho; i can't help it if i'm scared that she'll die and go to hell. now, i don't come out and say that to her, cuz really that's between her and God, but i worry. she is such a good person; she stayed with me when Bob had to stay at Parkview, she's been there for me for everything. Bob and I have been through a LOT in our 8 yrs, and she still loves me like a sis.
my other friends that i am getting to know are very much "in the world" and don't get me sometimes (yeah, like that never happens).
now, i am a generally happy person. its not always sunshine and rainbows tho. there are times i want to hit my husband with something blunt. i have actually done this once. with a MaG flashlight. (i ran after i did that one!) most of the time i control myself quite well.
oh, and don't get me started on my children. they are at the point o f summer vacation where nothing i do makes them happy. "there's nothing to do" is the stuff coming out of their mouths.
we are all ready for school to start!
*random jump*
i finally listened to a cd i got at the library. it's called "City on a Hill" and Sixpence None the Richer, Third Day and others are on it. so far i like it :-)
i really hate my internet. stupid contract!!! i can't watch video on it cuz it takes soooo long. and no, it's not dial up.
GAbby comes home friday. i am not ready forgive me Lord. i would elaborate, but i don't feel like it right now. long story.
If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
my other friends that i am getting to know are very much "in the world" and don't get me sometimes (yeah, like that never happens).
now, i am a generally happy person. its not always sunshine and rainbows tho. there are times i want to hit my husband with something blunt. i have actually done this once. with a MaG flashlight. (i ran after i did that one!) most of the time i control myself quite well.
oh, and don't get me started on my children. they are at the point o f summer vacation where nothing i do makes them happy. "there's nothing to do" is the stuff coming out of their mouths.
we are all ready for school to start!
*random jump*
i finally listened to a cd i got at the library. it's called "City on a Hill" and Sixpence None the Richer, Third Day and others are on it. so far i like it :-)
i really hate my internet. stupid contract!!! i can't watch video on it cuz it takes soooo long. and no, it's not dial up.
GAbby comes home friday. i am not ready forgive me Lord. i would elaborate, but i don't feel like it right now. long story.
If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31
Monday, July 27, 2009
now i remember why it took me so long to switch insurance companies! such a pia!!!! the good news is that i am going to save over $60 a month.
week two of just having the little ones. they are fighting all the time, making me loco. i have threatened to ship them off more than once!
love love love twilight, but haven't been following newmoonmovie.org due to the fact that i got tired of seeing pics of rob and such at random places. i don't really care about that crap, i just want more about the movie lol! my sis bren and i are anxious to camp out at the theater down the road when it comes out. good times :-)
why is it so diffcult for people to deal with me being a christian???? i am tired of getting the "look" when i state my faith. on a side note, had a good time with the love church last night as they visited Central (my home church). hadn't been able to attend church for the past two weeks so it felt really good to go twice and worship. very powerful presence of God there!
i thank Him for all of my many blessings.
on the friend note-i am such a hermit. enough said. *sigh*
oh, did i mention that i am trying to lose 20 lbs? down 2! yah!!!!
week two of just having the little ones. they are fighting all the time, making me loco. i have threatened to ship them off more than once!
love love love twilight, but haven't been following newmoonmovie.org due to the fact that i got tired of seeing pics of rob and such at random places. i don't really care about that crap, i just want more about the movie lol! my sis bren and i are anxious to camp out at the theater down the road when it comes out. good times :-)
why is it so diffcult for people to deal with me being a christian???? i am tired of getting the "look" when i state my faith. on a side note, had a good time with the love church last night as they visited Central (my home church). hadn't been able to attend church for the past two weeks so it felt really good to go twice and worship. very powerful presence of God there!
i thank Him for all of my many blessings.
on the friend note-i am such a hermit. enough said. *sigh*
oh, did i mention that i am trying to lose 20 lbs? down 2! yah!!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Ramblings of a stressed out mom...
*Grin* well here i am, supper going, my kids quiet for the past 2 min. they have driven me loco today. they just get so wound up! loud and all arms and legs everywhere. i really can't wait for school to start!
just spent last weekend at chain o'lakes state park. we had a lot of fun, even with our neighbors hanging out until after 1 a.m. it's difficult to be around people who have different life values. i hear all the time "oh, i believe in God, i just don't go to church." but i find that they are not living what they supposedly believe. not that i am judging, but i really don't want people cursing around my children and talking about how they are going to steal something or whatever.
but i will remain steadfast; i know i am in the place i need to be.
I have such a wonderful husband; we have been through so much, but i love him more every day.
God has really blessed me!
I am thinking that if i find the harry potter books i will give it a read. (uh oh, magic and witchcraft) if i feel the first book is going to influence me wrongly i won't read anymore.
but i have heard they are great books, and curiosity is getting the better of me.
work tomorrow.....the days off go by so fast!
and hopefully we get to take the older girls to cedar point in aug. praying for good weather and that everything works out!
so until later........
just spent last weekend at chain o'lakes state park. we had a lot of fun, even with our neighbors hanging out until after 1 a.m. it's difficult to be around people who have different life values. i hear all the time "oh, i believe in God, i just don't go to church." but i find that they are not living what they supposedly believe. not that i am judging, but i really don't want people cursing around my children and talking about how they are going to steal something or whatever.
but i will remain steadfast; i know i am in the place i need to be.
I have such a wonderful husband; we have been through so much, but i love him more every day.
God has really blessed me!
I am thinking that if i find the harry potter books i will give it a read. (uh oh, magic and witchcraft) if i feel the first book is going to influence me wrongly i won't read anymore.
but i have heard they are great books, and curiosity is getting the better of me.
work tomorrow.....the days off go by so fast!
and hopefully we get to take the older girls to cedar point in aug. praying for good weather and that everything works out!
so until later........
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